Friday, November 28, 2008

Facebook Thinks I'm Gay.

So I was jaunting around facebook today as I tend to do. Everything was going pretty regularly but then facebook started dropping some hints at me. It started very subtly. Facebook has these little advertisements on the side of the page, things that it claims are related to you, your listed hobbies, and other such things. So this was the first one.

Oooh, Vacations. Everyone likes vacations regardless of sexual orientation. Thus, I thought nothing of it. Clearly Facebook just thinks I need a break from the daily grind. Then it got a little more obvious with this little number.

So now Facebook is naming off all these bands I've never heard of.
I guess that's cool. Who doesn't love music? But, Indie music, isn't that the genre where all the guys wear tight pants and care way too much about their hair? That's kinda wierd. Yet, I continued browsing. That's when facebook dropped the hinting and cut to the real deal.

No more beating around the bush on this one, Facebook has outright told me,
"Hey Dan, we think you're rather gay. We want to help you."

(So not only does facebook think I'm a gay guy, but an inefficient gay guy who requires online dating to meet men.)

And this is when it hit me! That island with the sunset was none other than Fire Island! And clearly they weren't advertising Indie music, but Tight Pants!!! The signs had been there all along. How could I have been so Naiive?

Now my facebook doesn't leave any mystery as to my sexual preference. Under Interested In, it clearly says Women. I even checked to make sure my friends didn't change it again while I wasn't looking. So the mystery continues. I'll just have to upload more photos of me fighting bears and doing very manly things.

Update: I just got another advertisement.

So here's the million dollar question:

Does Facebook now know I'm straight, or just think I'm a very fertile gay man?

And the Billion dollar question:

Which of my listed hobbies does this related to?!


  1. Probably due to you having "Exploring New Places" under Interests

  2. Thats true, cuz by places, I meant other dudes.

  3. I wish "This wasn't supposed to happen" was the tag-line under "Meet Gay Singles."