Friday, March 6, 2009

Watchmen, or, Too Many Butts

Last night I saw Watchmen at midnight. Now, I'm going to give a brief history of my experience with the source material before I give my review. Yes, I've read it. It was recently, and I was never obsessed, though, like most people who read it, I thought it was a really impressive story. That being said, I found the movie to be intensely disappointing. Not only was it a whopping 2 hours and 45 minutes long, but it was a boring 2 hours and 45 minutes long. I think that in the end, the problem was an odd one for these types of movies. Usually in a comic book movie, you see the director trying to take a lot of liberties with the source material, but in Watchmen, right until the ending, the better portion of the film was direct source material. The only time that Snyder diverted from direct source material was to show butts. Which leads me to my main point. Too many butts. And even more importantly, too many genitals. I dont know when it started to be okay to show Penis movies, but I'm powerfully not okay with it. The movie gained nothing from showing the fact that, when on Mars, Dr. Manhattan lets it all hang out. However props to Snyder for picking a very attractive woman to play Silk Spectre. However, this movie sacrificed a lot in the acting skill department to find great look alikes. In the end, Watchmen was a terrible movie, it just wasn't "A cinematic masterpiece!" as the commercials bragged so very profusely.

So now on to the Important Part. Some quick trailer stuff.

Wolverine Origins: It looks awesome, probably going to be a good old fashioned simple plot, explosion based, and I'm looking forward to seeing it.

Also, they showed a trailer for some movie with Seth Rogen. It looked like Paul Blart: Mall Cop, but someone decided that they should make that concept funny.

I Love You, Man looks really lame. It's a general rule of thumb in movies that if you have some dated star playing himself (in this case, Lou Ferrigno), the movie will suck.



I'm really happy to see the return of the good type of gangster movie. I am utterly exhausted of seeing gangster movies about thugs who wave guns around, swearing like sailors, acting about 1000 times tougher than they probably should be. I'm anxious to see a criminal with some class back in the movies. For instance, I don't know how much you know about Dillinger, but his breakout from a prison using nothing but a block of wood (I won't spoil the movie by saying what he does with it), is just awesome. Plus, crime was classier when everyone wore fedoras and suits instead of baggy sports jerseys.


  1. ah, ah, ah!

    not so fast, young sir!

    i think "i love you, man" looks splendiferous! worthy of higher accolades? perhaps not. but i think you'd be hard-pressed to say you didn't laugh your tukus off at "dodgeball" back in the day. which featured a certain...norris, playing himself.

    and "public enemies" prominently features john DILLINGER. research must be done. what is this, amateur hour?

    i really like saying that.

    i should go to sleep.


    This is the guy who's movie I'm looking forward to.

    And i forgot about the norris cameo in dodgeball, but i still don't really think I love you, man is going to be too funny, but I'll end up seeing it, so we'll see!